Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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