I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
