Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
