i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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