I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
