dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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