what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
