woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
