dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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