Four minutes until I can fart!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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