Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
