I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The air taste purple.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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