I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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