Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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