At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
