please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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