i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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