when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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