there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
