i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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