I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
