why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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