It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
