I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
