Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
