The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
