playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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