that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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