Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
