I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
