If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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