me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
