I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
