Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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