How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
