I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All I want is dick and wine.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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