New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
