All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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