The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
