that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
