I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My ass is underappreciated
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
