First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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