I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
