After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the gays at disneyland are vicious
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
