What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
