You're my little dorito
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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