Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
