that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
