you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
