i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
