I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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