So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
