I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
