Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
